Jansen Camara Abellera
I know I haven’t been the best girlfriend these past months. I know I haven’t put my all. I know that I accuse you of every punch of the fight we create. I just know that we haven’t been on solid ground. I wonder what’s going through your mind everytime I hit you, I throw a fit, I start to cry, I start yelling and I start getting out of control. I know that everytime we fright it brings us closer, but today… Watching your videos you made me or a video that I was in… I started really missing you. I keep on telling you that you changed, your not the guy who I met under the stars, on the grass. But your right. It was me. I haven’t been the same either. I feel like ……, was the thing that corrupted us. I feel like my insecurities with everything as tooken over our talks every day. I feel like, me missing you is the same as me needing you all the time. I know I can be clingy, but you keep telling me you want me to. And then everytime I feel like I’m clingy, I keep on drifting farther and farther away. You don’t deserve any of the bull shit I give you, and I know that I go too far with our fights. No one said it was going to be easy, and no one said it would get as hard. But I know that I’m suppose to be with you in the end. That from 6 billion people in the world, I chose you and you chose me. We met under the stars that night. Under God’s eyes. Because of you, I’ve been praying so much lately. Because of you, I pray before I eat and go to church more often. Under God’s Eyes. We were two people sitting on a mat on the grass looking into each other’s eyes and secretly kissing. But Under God’s Eyes I know he saw One. Your everything who I’m not, and everything who fits into each missing piece of my heart. I know we can get through all the fighting Jansen. We’ve been going strong for a long time. Hitting more than just bumps, and we’re still here. What’s our secret? Its more than Just Love. I love you Jansen.
